Please don't be insulted if I don't sit next to you and your toddler at the cafe. It's just... Well, you see, this is my night out. This is my night to have a couple of hours alone to sit in a cafe and sip a glass of iced tea without my Doodlebug pulling at my pants legs, crawling into my lap or screaming for my attention. This is my night to think of things other than diapers and boogies; and to hear a song other than the Wheels on the Bus.
Your child is adorable. Yes, she is. But her screaming is reminding me that my child is at home right now and probably screaming, too (i.e. torturing my husband for having the audacity to think that a 21 month old should be asleep before 10 pm). And her standing next to me and pointing at my computer is reminding me that my computer is rarely mine anymore, but has become a (very) expensive toddler toy.
So please, please don't be insulted. The last thing I'd want to do is make another mama feel bad, but I really just need to enjoy having a personal space bubble for the next hour or so.
From one mama to another... I won't judge you, if you don't judge me. Deal?
Tuesday, August 20, 2013
Wednesday, August 14, 2013
Friday, August 2, 2013
Protecting My Son from Traditional Gender Roles
On a recent Sunday afternoon, while shopping at Target, I witnessed an interaction between a mom and son that terrified me.
The mom was leaning over her shopping cart, talking to her toddler who was sitting in the child seat. I saw them out of the corner of my eye and thought their quiet talking was sweet. Then I heard the child cry and the sweetness was over. The Mom said, "I can't. Stop crying! I can't buy you Dora diapers." The child kept crying and reaching for the package of diapers. "You are a boy!" the mother yelled, "what would people think if I got you Dora diapers?" She picked up a package and gave it to the child and said, "Here, you can have these. Diego. These are for boys". The boy shook his head and continued to cry.
I felt so bad for the little boy. He was being told he could not like something that he liked and had to idea why his mom was forbidding it. At a mere two years old, he was being told what to like and subjected to what his mother thought society deemed appropriate.
But really my heart was (selfishly) breaking for my own little man.
My little Doodlebug - who observes before he plays, who cries when another child cries, who pushes Mama's and Dada's heads together so that we kiss and then giggles - will one day be in a classroom with boys who were raised not to want Dora diapers. Will he be the sensitive boy who is picked on constantly? Will he be the kid picked last for teams, the boy .... Am I doing him an injustice by letting him wear Dora diapers if he wants to, or by letting him play with dolls?? I know I can't protect him forever, but I refuse to alter my parenting style and harden him because of how other people choose to raise their boys. I hope Doodlebug continues to be sensitive to other children and to giggle when Mama and Dada kiss. I hope that he knows he can choose Dora or Diego and either one is okay. And I hope one day many, many years from now, he happily gets the Dora diapers for his own little boy.
The mom was leaning over her shopping cart, talking to her toddler who was sitting in the child seat. I saw them out of the corner of my eye and thought their quiet talking was sweet. Then I heard the child cry and the sweetness was over. The Mom said, "I can't. Stop crying! I can't buy you Dora diapers." The child kept crying and reaching for the package of diapers. "You are a boy!" the mother yelled, "what would people think if I got you Dora diapers?" She picked up a package and gave it to the child and said, "Here, you can have these. Diego. These are for boys". The boy shook his head and continued to cry.
I felt so bad for the little boy. He was being told he could not like something that he liked and had to idea why his mom was forbidding it. At a mere two years old, he was being told what to like and subjected to what his mother thought society deemed appropriate.
But really my heart was (selfishly) breaking for my own little man.
My little Doodlebug - who observes before he plays, who cries when another child cries, who pushes Mama's and Dada's heads together so that we kiss and then giggles - will one day be in a classroom with boys who were raised not to want Dora diapers. Will he be the sensitive boy who is picked on constantly? Will he be the kid picked last for teams, the boy .... Am I doing him an injustice by letting him wear Dora diapers if he wants to, or by letting him play with dolls?? I know I can't protect him forever, but I refuse to alter my parenting style and harden him because of how other people choose to raise their boys. I hope Doodlebug continues to be sensitive to other children and to giggle when Mama and Dada kiss. I hope that he knows he can choose Dora or Diego and either one is okay. And I hope one day many, many years from now, he happily gets the Dora diapers for his own little boy.
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