My Toddler has a Speech Delay and What Else...?

So the verdict is in. Based on the evaluation a few weeks ago, the Speech Pathologist has reported that Doodlebug has a "moderate delay" in expressive communication. This was difficult to hear, but also somewhat of a relief to me since knowing will help us better help him.

The Good News 

Doodlebug would likely catch up and communicate verbally at a level appropriate for his age with therapy sessions and some strategies we can use to communicate with him at home. The therapist is very confident that his ability to achieve that goal is excellent with a few months of therapy. We've had two sessions so far and I can already see a difference. Doodlebug has started saying some two word phrases like "cat eat" "more orange" and "more car car". He has also started noticing verbs (other than eat and read") like "cook" and "play".

Doodlebug and his "unusual interest in letters"

The I-don't-know-what-to-do-with-this-yet News

Unfortunately, there was more to the report. First the evaluator mentions that there were some common autism characteristics that she observed - only answering to his name 75% of the time, preference to play alone and his high interest in letters, numbers and colors at his age. Now, I should mention that we ASKED her if she had any concerns about autism after the evaluation, so it's possible that's why she noted it in the report. But seeing any mentioned of autism related to your child is scary! I had noticed those traits in Doodlebug a while ago, but we had always dismissed any concerns by thinking those were normal traits for a two-year-old boy. But maybe not?

And the double whammy was the recommendation that we have Doodlebug evaluated for a Sensory Processing Disorder (SPD). Ugh. I kind of had a feeling that this one was coming... but again - I had convinced myself that some traits I had noticed were normal for a two-year-old (or at least normal for Doodlebug), like his fussiness at his 2nd birthday party or his very long warming up period for strangers. Large crowds and unexpected changes have always overwhelmed our sensitive little guy. I never wanted to make a big deal about that though. My feeling is that I'm not going to force my kids to socialize or to act like other kids. It's great that some kids like to play with other children, hold hands with them and sing and dance with them. My child does not. It's nice if your child will go with the flow around a new adult, babysitter, etc. Mine will not. He struggles with new people, he wants familiarity and he especially does not like grumpy adults. If you're disingenuous or in a bad mood, my child sense it and stay far away from you. If he were an adult, we would considered him to be a good judge of character! But now I'm being told that it's a concern. We haven't done the SPD evaluation yet, so I guess we'll see...


I'm feeling so many mixed emotions going into these evaluations/ therapies - hopeful, scared, anxious, but mostly overwhelmed right now. I'm due with our second baby in 10 weeks and I'm worried about giving Doodlebug the extra attention he needs right now while trying to prepare for Baby Girl's arrival. I better start improving my juggling routine.

Homemade Valentines

Happy Valentine's Day, lovely people of the internet!

However you feel about Hallmark holidays, it's difficult to grumble about a day of sweetness and love. I tell my loved ones that I love and appreciate them very often. So Valentine's Day just feels like a day to show that love x 10!

This is the first Valentine's that I tried to do a craft activity with Doodlebug. He still doesn't really "get" these holidays, but since we had to bring in valentines for a party at preschool, I thought we could have some art time together and make them. I found this crayon valentine tutorial from Chef Messy and thought we would give it a try. I knew Doodlebug wouldn't really partake in most of the crayon making process, but I was okay with that. 

Peeling paper off the crayons was the most time consuming of the process.

I was careful to use lots of light-colored crayons so the melted versions didn't get muddied.

Next it was time to put the valentines together. I wanted Doodlebug to add his personal touch to his valentines, so I gave him crayons and paper to scribble on. He usually loves any art activity, so I wasn't prepared for his complete disinterest in scribbling. I think giving him small crayons to scribble with is where I went wrong. He's used to the chunkier, easy-to-hold crayons and markers. The thin crayons got a major "thumbs down" from Doodlebug and he ended up sorting them into piles and then throwing them across the table. Lesson learned! I managed to get just enough scribbles from Doodlebug to use on the valentines.

A team effort from mama and Doodlebug.

And later today, I will continue the love festivities and make this Chocolate Eclair Cake for Dr. Spacetime. Maybe I will handle Doodlebug's bath and bedtime too, so that my love can ALSO get some time on the treadmill. Kisses, cake and a jog - the perfect Valentine's package? 

Speech Delay or Normal Distracted Two Year Old?

My first hint that Doodlebug might be falling behind developmentally was months ago when he was still going to full-time day care. At pick-up one day, I knelt down to say hello to one of his friends (another little boy who is only one month older than Doodlebug). "Where's Doodlebug?" I asked the little boy, expecting him to point or say "there". Instead, he replied, "He's right over there." A perfectly comprehensive 4 words sentence that I couldn't imagine Doodlebug saying even months from now or even understanding.

Over the next few months,  I've tried not to worry, but instead to celebrate Doodlebug for who he is with all his quirkiness. I thought staying home and having more one-on-one time with me would help him develop speech better. So even though we had some concerns at his two year Well Child appointment, we wanted to give him more time to develop. I've always heard other parents say that their child just started talking one day or that their child changed so much in just one month. So I guess I was crossing my fingers and hoping that's what would happen for Doodlebug.

November came and went and then December and the holidays, too. It seemed like Doodlebug's speech hadn't advanced at all. He has learned new some new words. My little guy knows all the letters of the alphabet, all the colors of the rainbow, numbers from 1 to 13 and even many shapes. But don't ask him to tell you what he's doing, ask for what he wants or talk about a book in even a two-word phrase. Because he won't. Even when we try to encourage him to say "want strawberries" he replies either "want" or "strawberries", or when we comment that he's "dancing to music" he replies "dance" or "music". Never both words. He has not seemed to grasp the idea of verbs, his speech has just not advanced to that point yet.

Maybe this is normal. I don't know. I do know that I watch other kids his age and most of them speak in sentences and listen and respond when spoken too. My kid doesn't hear you and is running off to sort the colored blocks on the other side of the room as you ask him a question. He may call out the colors of the blocks as he sorts or stacks them, but he doesn't want to talk to you about them. So please, don't ask. I know this distraction is likely normal for his age, but I feel that the lack of speech is not. 

Tomorrow we will have the first of numerous evaluations. I'm terrified about what we might discover. Maybe Doodlebug is totally normal and I'm expecting too much, or maybe he does have a developmental delay or disorder. Either way, I'm looking forward to getting some answers and perspective from experts.

No matter what happens, I know he will still be my lovable little man with his squinty-eyed smile and his sweet kisses. NOTHING can ever change that. But I have to admit, I am feeling nervous and holding my breath tonight.